(# 287) Romans 8 - When You Love Someone You Are Willing to Let Them Hurt

ROM-199-160605 - length: 73:44 - taught on Jun, 5 2016

Class Outline:

Welcome To


a Christian Church

Rory Clark



Good Morning!


Welcome to Barah Ministries…a Christian Church based in Mesa, AZ…my name is Pastor Rory Clark.  At Barah Ministries we are “pursuing the truth through the study of the Word of God.”  Because of the gracious provision of the internet, from our omnipotent God, the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Barah Ministries has a worldwide reach and an intimate impact on lives.  Thank you Lord for providing a way for anyone, anywhere to be reached with Your Word.



When You Love Someone You Are Willing to Let Them Hurt


It’s really easy to be a Christian…just follow the suggestions in Colossians, Chapter 3, Verses 1 to 11…


Colossians 3:1

Therefore if you believers in Christ have been raised up with Christ, and you have been, keep on seeking the things above, where Christ is, the One who is seated at the right hand of God the Father.


As Christians, we are to take our direction from the Lord Jesus Christ and His word only…because everything is one with God.  He gives us One Person to worship, and He gives us One source of truth…He gives us the perfect Person and the perfect Truth.  What’s not to like about perfection?


Colossians 3:2

Set your mind on the things above, and not on the things that are on earth.


We are to fix our attentions and our affections on the eternal direction from above and not on the temporal misdirection of Satan’s world system.  The world system lies to us…and we believe it.  It’s funny how most of the teaching we get in this world comes from Satan and his world system, yet the calamity that listening to his crap does in our lives is blamed on God and on His Word and on Christianity, instead of being blamed on Satan…the “roaring lion” who is devouring things we value…the thief who is stealing and killing and destroying us.


Colossians 3:3

For you believers in Christ have died and your resurrection life (the new self life…ZOE) is hidden with Christ in God the Father.


Your old man was crucified at the Cross, and it died…you no longer have to listen to something that is dead.  The New Self “you” is not obvious to the world…they can’t see it in you and they wouldn’t understand it if they could see it…you can’t look at a believer in Christ and tell the depth of the believer’s spiritual life.


Colossians 3:4

When Christ, who IS our resurrection life, is revealed (to the world in all His glory), then you believers in Christ also will be revealed with Him in (all your) glory.


When the Lord appears again we will be just like Him.  We take our direction from Him and not from Satan, the counterfeiter.


Colossians 3:5

Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which all amount to idolatry.


We are not to worship the things Satan encourages, what he would lyingly call “the finer things in life,” but instead we are to worship the things of God.  The Lord Jesus Christ is our idol.


Colossians 3:6

For it is because of (all) these things (the lifestyle of sin…the lifestyle “in Adam”) that the wrath of God (the Lake of Fire) will come upon the sons of disobedience (all unbelievers)…


Colossians 3:7

…and in (all) these things you believers in Christ also once walked (as a

 lifestyle), when you were living in them (this is the literal definition of

“living in sin” … the lifestyle of unbelievers who are “in Adam”).


As believers in Christ we are to totally reject anything that reeks of Satan

and his suggestions.


Colossians 3:8

But now you believers in Christ also, put them all aside (like you would if you were taking off old clothing and throwing it out): put aside anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth.


Colossians 3:9

Do not lie to one another, since you also laid aside the old man with its evil practices…


As a Christian, you can always examine your thoughts through the examination of your actions…because whatever you think shows up in your actions.  Mindset…set your mind.  What is your mind set on?


Colossians 3:10

…and since you have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him—


Colossians 3:11

…a renewal in which there is no distinction between Greek and Jew (national distinctions), circumcised and uncircumcised (religious distinction), barbarian (petty prejudices), Scythian (criminal distinction), slave and freeman (social class distinctions), but Christ is all (He is everything), and Christ is indwelling all (believers in Christ).


As believers in Christ we are not to live as if we are still “in Adam” … even though that lifestyle is quite comfortable for us…we are to live as if we are “in Christ.”  Yes…we’re human…but we are not under the direction of the kingdom of death…we are under the direction of the kingdom of God.  Welcome to a place where you can learn about the kingdom of God so you can choose, if you wish, to orient to the Lord’s direction.



Be Occupied with the Person of the Lord Jesus Christ

Enjoy the Singing of His Praises



Hillary Scott


The opening song for this lesson is THY WILL BE DONE by Hillary Scott.



Let us pray...


We’re grateful, Heavenly Father, for the privilege of studying Your absolute truth...the Word of God…


Father, it saddens us when you are blamed for everything that goes wrong with mankind…as believers in Christ we KNOW you have an enemy who wants to steal and kill and destroy…just know, Father, how grateful we are as Your believers, and how sure we are that You allow the tough things we experience, which seldom originate from You, so that we can be edified…and thank you for working all things together for our good…thanks for delivering us from evil…


Help us to weather the storms of our lives…help us to be strengthened by the trials…let our distresses deepen our resolve to allow You to be the One who goes ahead of us, making our paths straight, so we can bask in your protection…


We ask this through the power of God the Holy Spirit…in Christ’s name...



A few announcements….





Next Deacon’s Meeting

June 18



Finalize the website to get it ready for launch in July, preferably the first.



A Gathering of God’s Men


June 5, 2016

After Church




The Next Lord’s Supper Celebration

June 12, 2016



No Face-to-Face Teaching

July 3, 2016


No lesson will be posted…it’s just a day off.



Coeur d’Alene Bible Conference

Coeur d’Alene, Idaho

August 5-6, 2016



New York - Pennsylvania Conference

Traditions at the Glen

Johnson City, New York

September 16-17, 2016



Evening Lesson Only


August 7, August 21, September 18



Homecoming for the Non-Resident Congregation

April 21-23, 2017



Barah Ministries Prayer Request Group


Join me in prayer directed at all the intercessions and all the petitions of the

people visiting the Barah Ministries Prayer Request Group. 



Non-Resident Congregation Members

Tracy Bixby and Heather Luttermoser

Monica and John Miller


A quick hello and thanks to Tracy Bixby for supporting the ministry and for her fantastic handling of the Facebook Ministry.  Welcome to Heather Luttermoser…and to Monica and John Miller…members of our non-resident congregation and our face-to-face guests for the day.  It’s great to see you here!


Monica Miller

June 7



When You Love Someone You Are Willing to Let Them Hurt


How often, as parents, do we try to shield our kids from hurt…to protect them from the consequences of their actions?  Maybe they get arrested and we’re a bit too quick to bail them out instead of letting them sit in jail for a night to really feel what it is like to have consequences for what they do?  Maybe they get a DUI and we pay the ,000 dollars.   Yet when our kids our adults, life deals out the consequences without protection. 


Many of today’s kids are ill equipped to handle what the world has in store for them.  Their souls are not protected by the Word of God…their souls are like Swiss cheese, because video games don’t prepare them for the time when their worldly competitors attack.  Social media doesn’t prepare them to be social…it in fact ruins the chance that any relationships they have will work when the real pressure of a relationship comes.  Relationships are wonderful when they go well but the true test of the strength of a relationship comes in the challenging times.  And with today’s parents, sending our kids into the world ill equipped to cope with its pressures is totally okay.   Yet God does not grow His saints in this way.  God is more than willing to allow us to suffer so that we learn the qualities that help us to endure…perseverance, character, and hope, an absolute confidence that we will not be disappointed…by God that is!


So we continue our study of Romans, Chapter 8, Verses 35…


Romans 8:35

WHO will separate us from the unconditional love of Christ? (Or WHAT will separate us?)  Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword separate us from Christ’s unconditional love?


When Paul lists all of the things that might be considered which might separate us from the unconditional love of God in this verse, he is really giving his autobiography…he’s sharing the troubles…the hardships…the pains that he experienced that became his “regular friends” in his defense of,   and in his dissemination of the gospel message.  Tribulation, and distress, and persecution, and famine, and nakedness, and peril, and a sword were his constant companions.  Second Corinthians, Chapter 11, Verse 27…


Second Corinthians 11:27

I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.


The pain of “taking the point.”  The pain of being the lead goose.  The Lord Jesus Christ experienced these same things, too, and when we, as believers in Christ, experience the things the Lord has experienced, we develop kinship with Him.  I have quite a kinship with the Lord.  As a Pastor, we almost come to dread teaching certain things because we know we will experience these very things in our lives just before or right as we are teaching them.  Actually we spend most of our time laughing about its inevitability.  And it is not that we mind experiencing hardships at all…we signed up for it.  What we mind is that those around us are often oblivious to the depth of the pain we experience as we learn.  The depth of that pain is not something we can explain.  Even if we do, its severity is overlooked.  As you look back on the previous verse…do you relate to and feel what Paul went though?  The things we relate to most are likely the things we have experienced as well.  Relating to things we haven’t experienced requires empathy.


Yet we know from experience that Romans, Chapter 8, Verse 36 is true…


Romans 8:36

Just as it is written (in Psalm 44:22), “For Your sake we are being put to death all day long; we were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”


We gladly put our Pastoral heads on the chopping block, to be slaughtered for Christ’s sake.  It still hurts.


Will TRIBULATION separate us from God’s unconditional love?


Decidedly not!  What is tribulation?



Direct troubles that we experience in our lives…from suffering…from pain…from misery…from grief…from calamity


Some of the things that constitute tribulation involve inner conflict…health issues…the pain of childbirth…the pain of loss…self-inflicted punishment for our bad decisions…worries caused by family issues…being at the wrong end of a betrayal…there are many things we experience daily that can easily fit into the trials and tribulations category.


What tribulations are you experiencing in your life? 


In times of tribulation, Satan would have us think that God turns His back on us when we are going through these things…the “roaring lion who is always seeking someone to devour” by attacking our minds asks, “Where is your God now?”  And we answer with Psalm 46, Verse 1…


Psalm 46:1

God is our refuge (our shelter from danger) and God is our strength…an ALWAYS present (omnipresent) help in times of trouble.


There is no need to fear when God is here!  I never think that God is trying to hurt me…or that God is punishing me for my sins…or that God has it out for me…not anymore…my guilt plagued Roman Catholic days are over… my legalism plagued days in Systematic Theology are over…I know what it feels like to live within the sphere of grace, and unconditional love and forgiveness…and it feels amazingly good, even when things hurts.


Let’s take a music break and then we’ll look at the distresses of our lives.




Colton Dixon



When You Love Someone You Are Willing to Let Them Hurt


Welcome back!  Will DISTRESS separate us from God’s unconditional love?  What is distress?



Absolute anguish…with a more intense pain that the pain of tribulation…it literally means to be jammed into a very narrow and cramped space…a space too small for you to fit into…and in that space you experience a pain that is almost unendurable…a pain that you have no answer for…a pain that only God has the power to handle.


What are the distresses in your life?


And in light of the knowledge that God is working all things together for good…are you turning these distresses over to Him for resolution?  Paul describes this type of pain in Second Corinthians, Chapter 12, Verses 1 to 10.  The Corinthians weren’t so keen on listening to Paul…they didn’t trust him, so they were always questioning his credentials…and Paul thought giving his credentials was worthless.


Second Corinthians 12:1

Boasting is necessary, though it is not profitable; but I will go on to tell you about visions and revelations of the Lord.


Paul shifts the Corinthians’ attention to the things that distinguish an apostle of the Lord from everyone else.  How can you recognize the depth of a Christian’s spiritual life?  By the depth of the Christian’s suffering.


Second Corinthians 12:2

I know a man in union with Christ who fourteen years ago (prior to now)—

whether in the body I do not know, or out of the body I do not know, God knows—such a man was caught up to the third heaven.


Paul is talking about himself, but using the indirect method…and he was saying that if he were not “in union with Christ” he likely would not have experienced the things he is talking about.  What a pain sometimes to be a Christian!  The word for “caught up” in Greek is the same word used to describe the exit resurrection of Church Age believers…a future event known as The Rapture (see First Thessalonians 4:17).


Second Corinthians 12:3

And I know how such a man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, God knows—


Second Corinthians 12:4

…was caught up into Paradise (in heaven) and heard inexpressible words, which a man is not permitted to speak.


Now we know why Paul can say that our momentary distresses are achieving for us an eternal glory that outweighs all of the distresses!


Second Corinthians 12:5

On behalf of such a man (in union with Christ) I will boast; but on my own behalf (in human power) I will not boast, except in regard to my weaknesses.


The Corinthians were just like people today, minus the electronic devices…they were concerned with the superficial…the deep things in life were not appealing or attractive at all to them…they were merely concerned with “appearances.”


Second Corinthians 12:6

For if I do wish to boast I will not be foolish, for I will be speaking the truth; but I refrain from this boasting, so that no one will credit me with more than he sees in me or hears from me.


Paul wanted to make it clear to the Corinthians, that being “in union with Christ” and the Lord’s work through him, especially the work of spreading the gospel, were the things that made him special…nothing else.


Second Corinthians 12:7

Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations (the things Paul saw in heaven), for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself!


God allowed Paul to experience distresses so that Paul would not start thinking too highly of himself. 


Second Corinthians 12:8

Concerning this thorn in the flesh, I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me.


The “thorn in the flesh” is a gift from God giving Paul a constant reminder of his weakness.  Many Christians who like “booger rubbing,” or who like playing incessantly with the lint in their navels, will speculate about what Paul’s thorn in the flesh is.  It’s better to wonder what your thorn in the flesh is…what makes you feel like crap?  What makes you feel less than human?  Whatever it is, or whomever it is, that’s your thorn in the flesh.  When we are going through the distresses, the thing we want most is to have it be over.  The Lord reminds us that’s not always a great idea…when you love someone you are willing to let them hurt…God is willing to let us hurt.  But why?


Second Corinthians 12:9

And the Lord has said to me, “My sphere of grace is sufficient for you, for divine power is perfected in (the backdrop of human) weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my (human) weaknesses, so that the Divine power of Christ may dwell in me.


God doesn’t remove us from the distresses…He gives us the strength to endure them…the same strength that provided endurance for the Lord Jesus Christ, the One we are in union with, which he used to endure the Cross.


Second Corinthians 12:10

Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak,

then I am strong.


As Christians, we have to be willing to look for God’s hand in the distresses…and we have to be willing to be patient enough to wait for His deliverance.  Romans, Chapter 8, Verse 35…


Romans 8:35

WHO will separate us from the unconditional love of Christ? (Or WHAT will separate us?)  Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword separate us from Christ’s unconditional love?


None of these things can separate a Faithful God from us…none of these things can separate us from the unconditional love of our Faithful God…when you love someone, you are willing to let them hurt…and God is willing to let us hurt.  But why?  Romans, Chapter 8, Verse 28…


Romans 8:28

And we know that God the Father causes all things to work together for good to those who love God the Father, to those who are called according to His purpose.



Make the Most Important Decision of Your Life


Matthew 22:42

“What do you think about the Christ (the Messiah)…?”


Acts 16:31

“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and everyone in your household who also believes.”


Acts 4:12

“And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given to mankind by which we must be saved (except the name of the Lord Jesus Christ).”


Romans 1:16

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God that brings  salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.


Acts 2:21

‘And it shall be that everyone who calls on the Person of the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation will be saved.’




June Murphy



Let us pray...


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Thanks for listening!




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